Two days ago Carter and I went to Watershed Heights so that he could handle some business and before leaving we decided to stop and get some food. We went into Deena's diner to have lunch. I had a chicken burger and fries with water and Carter took a walk on the wild side and had a goat burger that looked anything but appetizing and fries with some sort of juice that was a mix between milk and cranberry juice. As we ate we looked over and Carter spotted her the infamous Bianca Bonelli the former playmate. She was sitting eating like a regular person in a run down diner what are the odds of that. Then it hit me I had a overwhelming feeling that something bad had happened. And then it happened I got the call, Dino had been shot and is in the ICU at County Hospital. I couldn't speak, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't feel, I had to see him. So we left and went to see what had happened to him.
I walked into the room and there he lay lifeless, still, barely alive. Then just as I was about to speak he coded. As I was crying I watched the team of doctors and nurses that cam in trying to save him, and then I heard the doctor say "call it" time of death 14:05. Then it hit me it had happened to me once again, but this time I had lost the father of my child. In that moment Carter was the perfect friend he just held me and comforted me. As I walked to the waiting room to tell his mother the news I felt the sharp pain and I felt the warm liquid run down my leg, my water had broke right there in the middle of the hallway. Eight hours of pain later there she was alive and healthy. Little Ameia Grace Datini was born at 10:05 pm and weighed 6 lbs and 6oz, and was 18 inches long. This little blessing sharing the birthday with the day that had taken the man that had help give her life. Instantly I fell in love with her, I wonder was it that easy for you to fall in love with me? I see you so much in me even Carter said that as we held her for the first time. Now as I sit here looking at her while writing to you, I see you so much in her, she has your eyes and nose. I miss you mommy I wanted to share this moment with you. But Carter has been here the whole time, helping and loving me and this morning he asked me to marry him and I haven't accepted yet. He says he wants to adopt Ameia and help me raise her. I love him but I don't know if i'm ready to open my heart again to someone. I don't know what to do.
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